This is about teachers and parents talking with children. But the quality of speech and decency of verbalisation should be by everyone to everyone

One of the most essential things about offering security to children is how teachers speak “with” them. Often it’s a case of teachers talking “at” or “to” those they are teaching.

When dealing with each other in staff rooms, at collaborative sessions or during professional development sessions, teachers speak conversationally. They each feel comfortable with the other, and conversations reflect this attitude.

When dealing with children, however, teachers often lose the conversational element replacing it with what might be termed “command language”. The niceness of speech usually dissipates, and delivery takes on a harsh quality.

Metaphorically speaking, teachers, when dealing with each other, are somewhat like motorcars which purr along quietly from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’. However, when working with children, those same teachers trade the cars for four-wheel drive vehicles, lock them into 4×4 and then grate their way through conversations with children in a manner that can be far from pleasant. Language can be embracing or off-putting. To draw children close in terms of comfort, qualities of conversation and vocalisation are important. There is no way the teachers will draw children in and toward them if their language is ‘push off’ in terms of its invitation.