In my whole life, I have only once been on a motorbike as a pillion passenger – and have never actually driven a bike.

On this particular occasion, I was invited to be a pillion passenger on the motorbike owned by my future brother-in-law.

I got onto the bike, we travelled about a metre, and the bike spilled onto the ground and us with it.

What happened then was that the motorbike chain ripped the gusset out of my trousers.

I had to make a quick trip uptown on foot in as modest a way as possible to buy a new pair of pants. The only ones I could get were a size or three too big but that was the way it had to be.

No more motorbike riding for me ever again.